Glenn and Jan Smith, of Adelaide, Australia, both nearly 60 years old, are starting a new family.
Before beginning their adventure as foster parents, they raised six of their own children. Their commitment to family and to giving children a good start in life is firm.
“If you are committed to your marriage and family, you will be ok, notwithstanding that trials and challenges come,” Glenn says. “We have tried to look after each other . . . and make the happiness of each other a priority.
“One of our earliest decisions as a couple was to have children. Our first son was very physically and mentally disabled. After him followed four daughters. It wasn’t easy to look after Matthew, particularly for Jan, when she was pregnant.”
They wondered whether five children was enough. Taking that decision to the Lord in prayer, they both felt the answer was, “Don’t worry about it.”
Shortly thereafter Matthew died, just before his 11th birthday. “While we grieved, we felt a peace that came from the Lord which helped. Soon Jan was pregnant with our last child and we welcomed another son into our family. Our love for children and our capacity to love and nurture them was strengthened with our faith.”
They also describe “practicing self-reliance and having fun with each other.” Family traditions have included attending Carols by Candlelight, Christmas pageants, going camping, having a weekly family night together, as well as daily family prayer and scripture study.
Through it all we have been challenged and blessed,” they say. “And also stretched and tested.”
The couple often talked about having foster children, but never got around to looking into it. Jan says, “We wish we had started sooner and not when our youngest child was preparing for marriage.”
When they finally chose to take in foster children, it was far from easy. “Our two foster children… came to us very angry, constantly yelling, fighting, being destructive,” Glenn says.
“They would have a ‘meltdown’ maybe 30-40 times a day. We thought our training would prepare us for anything, but were surprised how a four- and six-year-old were so affected by the trauma they had experienced.”
Glenn continued, “One night the missionaries [from their church] came for dinner. The children were out of control, and we were a little embarrassed over their behaviour. I invited Sister Garrotte to say a prayer when they were about to leave, and she prayed from the heart that our children would feel God’s love. It was as though a cloud of warmth and love descended as we prayed. The children became reverent. Our hearts were touched, and we were reminded each day from then on . . . that God’s help was available every day.”
“We use therapeutic parenting to raise these children,” the Smiths explain. “How we talk to them when tired and frustrated determines their response. Some days are very hard, but after twelve months, their progress has been a miracle. They can now play and work on their own or together with very few squabbles, like other children.
Glenn and Jan explain, “We never knew how easy it would be to love our foster children. Our foster agency, Key Assetts and Families SA, have supported and trained us to cope with the fact that fostering is very hard. But it is so rewarding.
“We remembered at a recent church conference that we were invited to help refugees. Fostering is so similar to helping refugees.”
Jan and Glenn have the following advice for those considering foster care:
1. You need a spare bedroom.
2. You need to do some training before you can register as a foster carer.
3. The need is great!! In Adelaide, an average of 100 children who need families sleep in hotels or residential care.
4. Different types of fostering are available, ranging from short term, respite, and emergency to long term and special needs. Not all children are traumatised as their children were.
The Smiths’ main advice is: “Do what you can.” They believe that if more people talk about foster caring and make enquiries, more will try it and wonder why they haven’t considered it before.
The Smiths are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Read more about Jan and Glenn’s foster care experience at LDS Adelaide News.
On Saturday September 23rd The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints marks the 21st anniversary of The Family: A Proclamation to the World, a statement defining the Church’s teachings on gender, marriage and family.